The courtroom swearing-in oath is a solemn promise to tell the truth while giving testimony in a legal proceeding. The exact wording of the oath may vary depending on the jurisdiction, but it generally involves promising to tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” I don't know for sure, but if Donald Trump ever takes the stand in any of his court cases, here's how his swearing-in might go:
Clerk: Please place your left hand on the Trump Bible and raise your right hand.
Trump: Before I do, can I ask a question? Can I just hold up the Trump Bible with both hands? I did something similar when I was president. It was a perfect picture.
Clerk: No. Please do as I requested.
Trump: OK. Tell me again. Which hand should I place on the Trump Bible and which hand should I raise?
Clerk: Place your left on the Trump Bible and raise your right hand.
Trump: Is it OK if I read a passage aloud from the Trump Bible first? Isn't that my First Amendment right?
Clerk: No, sir, it's not.
Trump: Why not? Are you a Democrat?
Clerk: There is nothing political going on here. I'm just trying to swear you in as a witness.
Trump: Don't swear at me.
Clerk: Your honor, in my opinion, Mr. Trump is trying to delay these proceedings. Please instruct him to do as asked.
Judge: Mr. Trump, are you hard of hearing or incapable of following the clerk's instructions?
Trump: My hearing is perfect. I just really want to hold the Trump Bible. You know I'm selling them to help fund my legal expenses.
Judge: Yes, I am aware of that but you must do as the clerk has instructed.
Trump: Why? I'm an honest person. Everyone knows I've been telling the truth about the rigged 2020 election results. If you let me hold the Trump Bible, I swear I can prove what I've been saying about Crooked Joe Biden is true.
Judge: Mr. Trump, you have exactly ten seconds to be sworn-in as a witness in this case. Failure to comply will result in your being handcuffed by an officer of the court and booked into jail.
Trump: You're a Democrat, aren't you judge? Go ahead, haul me off to jail. I'll gladly stand for another mug shot. Only this time, I'll be holding my Trump Bible.
Judge: Mr. Trump, I don't care if you hold the original tablet Moses brought down from the mountain top. Officer, remove this man from my courtroom. And don't forget to read him his Miranda rights.
Let me sum up by saying, it doesn’t matter how popular a person may be. If someone breaks the law, then he/she will have to answer for it because justice is blind.
-DF
Very clever!